Dean Waugh Page

This page is devoted to our illustrious former captain/coach, Dean Parma Waugh. For a decade he was a dominant figure at our club scoring over 5000 runs and being captain and/or coach for three day and two night premierships.

As much as anything though it was his sense of humour that is remembered most fondly. We've tried to recall some of our favourite moments here. Thank you to all the contributors. I'm sure there will be plenty of additions as more stories leap to mind.

One Liners
At the Saturday night post-match presentations back at the club, Deano was singing the praise of Ryan Sparrow who had collected a string of scores in the 40’s in the A Grade but hadn’t reached fifty.
“If he scored any more forties… he could run the disco at the Arkaba.”
Englishman Simon Mason rocketed a return in during a fielding drill at practice one night. It thwacked into Deano’s baseball glove.
“Gee! A Pom with an arm. Better check his passport.”
Adelaide Cricket Club started a tradition of having their A Grade skipper wear a club blazer to toss the coin. Luke Williams marched out to the middle of Glandore Oval looking resplendent in his blue, red and gold striped jacket, shaking hands with Deano in his Kensi shorts and training shirt.
“Sorry Horse. My blazer’s at the dry cleaners.”
Deano returned from a winter stint playing cricket in the UK. His training shirt was a little tight as he wandered out, a fact not lost on his amused team mates.
 “Must have shrunk in the wash.”
A Port Adelaide batter was wearing a collection of necklaces and chains that would rattle loudly against his helmet grill every time he ran between the wickets.
“He’s got more rattles than a millionaire’s baby.”
We were batting in a game at Parkinson Oval and the grass was particularly long making scoring boundaries difficult.
“The outfield is thicker than an Asian student’s glasses.”
The first time we played against 6 foot 6 Mark Stokes from Sturt, Deano remarked, “geez, he’s tall for his age.” It was pointed out to him that Stokes was in fact 32 years old.
“Not many 32 year olds that tall.”
We were just about to do our pre-match warm up on a windy day at Bice Oval. Deano called the team in first for a quick piece of advice.
“Boys, on windy days like this make sure you tighten your hat a notch or two.”

It was an ongoing frustration that whilst we scored quickly, we could never bat out the full 90 overs.
Deano: "Boys, if we bat all our overs we’ll make 250 plus."
Morgs: "Deano, if we bat our overs we’ll make 400."
Deano: "That’s 250 plus isn’t it?"
John Lee had just returned from his honeymoon in Vietnam. Deano remarked that he’d spent the entire two weeks signing autographs because he was the tallest person any of them had ever seen.
Deano was having a bit of a patchy season with the bat, some high scores and some low scores. He announced at a post-match presentations on a Saturday that his form had been “up and down like a fiddler’s elbow.”
Deano Code/Rhyming Slang
Skinny                             >>>Roger Binny<<< (highlight to reveal answer)
Single                             >>>Derek Pringle<<<
Sandals                          >>>Derek Randalls<<<
Shoulder                         >>>Vanburn Holder<<<
Neck                                >>>Gregory Peck<<<
Nuffy                                >>>Cameron Cuffy<<<
Finger                              >>>Mal Meninga<<<
Shirt                                 >>>Ernie & Bert<<<
Skivvy                               >>>Gary Player<<<
Jeans                              >>>Baked Beans<<<
Fart                                   >>>Royce Hart<<<
That’ll do us                   >>>Joe Lewis<<<
Halfway there                 >>>Bon Jovi<<<              
Bowled                            >>>Risolled<<<
Shirt                                 >>>Ernie & Bert<<<
Arm                                  >>>Warwick Farm<<<
Beer                                 >>>Pig’s ear<<<
Pornos                               >>>Paul Bongiornos<<<
UDI                                   >>>Unidentified Drinking Injury<<<
Bermuda Triangle         >>>The area between the Kensington, Robin Hood and the Feathers where things tend to go missing (wallet, keys, phone, car, memory)<<<
Chinese Dentist             >>>2:30<<<
Dollars                            >>>Oxford Scholars<<<
Pineapple                       >>>$50<<<
Gorilla                             >>>$1000<<<
Half a gorilla                  >>>$500<<<


Photo sequence - tearing hamstring against Sturt in 2005/06 one day final


We had a couple of guys from the Sturt Baseball Club come to a preseason training session to work on our throwing. At the end of training one of them was pitching to Deano who was swinging away with a cricket stump. He was struggling to lay bat on ball which had the players chuckling. Deano tried telling us that it was harder than it looks, the balls were swinging all over the place. “Come and stand behind me so you can see.” So the group assembled behind Deano. Sure enough he snicked the next one and it hit young quick Cleve Hughes in the eye, blood everywhere. Ian Rice rushed Cleve off to hospital (he has his own parking space) where he received six stitches. Deano later explained to Cleve’s dad that Cleve had missed a fairly straight forward catch during fielding training.

Deano once tossed the coin at Glandore Oval without inspecting the pitch. He took oppostion skipper Luke Williams' word for it that the pitch was sound and they tossed the coin on the boundary. Tails never fails and we batted first. Kensington all out 59 on a raging green top.

At Parkinson Oval on a very hot day Deano somewhat surprisingly sent Southern Districts into bat. When quizzed on the reason he said that the pitch looked like it might do a bit plus he'd had a dream during the week that we bowled them out cheaply. The Stingrays finished the day at 4/329. There was about a 5 minute angry silence in the changeroom after the game before anyone spoke. Deano: "Gee... deck didn't have quite as much in it as I thought."

During the Adelaide Oval test match we bumped into the Glenelg team who we happened to be playing next week. Deano and Glenelg skipper Paul Forster decided that they may as well toss the coin then and there to get it out of the way and so that everyone knew what they would be doing the next Saturday. Tails never fails... "We'll bat thanks!" Deano announced to the delighted cheers of the Kensi contingent. A week of steady rain meant that a fairly under-prepared wicket greeted us on the weekend. Deano stuck to his word though... and we were bowled out cheaply and lost the game.

From David Burtenshaw: I was playing for Winchmore Hill in the Middlesex League way back in 1988 and he was making loads of runs for Richmond (I think).
Had him caught behind off me for 0 but the only person who didn’t hear the nick was the old ump – and Dean went on to smash us (including, and especially, another former Brown Guy Saunders) on the way to 150. Later in the clubrooms, our captain politely asked Dean about the early appeal, thinking that because Dean didn’t walk it surely must have been something else making the noise.  Dean, however, set the record straight: “I f***in’ smashed it.”  

Never Trust:-
   - A bloke with two first names
   - A bloke with a six pack
   - A skinny butcher
   - A bloke with a gold chain
Favourite Sayings/Advice:-
   - Don’t eat yellow snow
   - You don't have to be dead to be stiff
   - I’ve never seen a jogger smiling
   - Boys should have short hair, girls should have long hair
   - You can never have a beer that’s too cold
   - You can never have a pie that’s too hot
   - Harder to pick than a broken nose
   - Drier than John Lee’s towel
   - Never try to eat anything bigger than your head
   - Always carry a hanky